Distance
by Calandraa
Summary: Sharing the middle child's burden of never being in charge like the oldest and never being pampered as the youngest, they had confided in each other. Takes place in the „Rise of the TMNT" universe. I do not own anything TMNT. This is merely for fun and in no way monetized.
1. Chapter 1

"You coming or what?" Leo's fingers impatiently tapped against the door frame while he waited for Donatello's answer.

"What." Came the dry reply.

"What you mean 'what'?" Confused the slider scratched his head, looking at the genius with raised eye ridges.

"I chose 'what' because it is the only alternative you gave me to coming." Donatello elaborated in that patronizing tone that never failed to annoy Leo.

"Sooo..."

"For the love of Galileo... I am not coming, Leo."

"Why not? The weather is perfect and we've planned to visit the zoo for a week now." The blue-masked turtle said. "Come on, the sun is already setting. We want to make good use of night time."

"You."

"What?"

"Not 'we', 'you'." Donatello explained. "You three planned going to the zoo, even though I said I was busy on Saturday. And so – implied – it is you who want to make good use of night time in following that plan, not 'we'."

Approaching footsteps told the turtle in purple that his brother was not going to leave him alone, but to use his incredible powers of obnoxiousness to have things his way. Leo swirled the genius' chair around, not even checking if there were explosives in his brother's hands, and grinned.

"Come on, D., whatever you are so 'busy' with, can wait. Your nerd stuff won't run away."

Whether it was the air quotes at 'busy' or the use of the term 'nerd stuff', Donatello was not sure. But his former feeling of annoyance faded, making room for anger. He jumped from his chair – causing Leo to stumble backwards - and theatrically threw his arms in the air.

"Of course! Oh, stupid fool that is me!" He exclaimed, sarcasm dropping from his tongue. "My nerd stuff won't run away while zoos make a habit of switching location within the fracture of a second."

"Way to twist my words, bro!" Leo growled. "I meant..."

"For your information, brother dear," Donnie cut his brother off, not caring for his explanations. "This 'nerd stuff' are my notes and former experiments for an antidote or even a vaccination against Draxum's ooze. You know, the guy who uses the ooze to change people's bodies against their will, risking their health and ruining their lives."

"Yeah, I know, Donnie!" Leo bit back. "I was there. I fought him, too. We always fight him. We deserve a break. And three out of four wanted to go to the zoo."

"Yes, yes, that is reasonable." The tech wizard agreed sarcastically. "If three people decide that relaxing at the zoo is more important than stopping genocide by forced transformation, it immediately becomes objectively true!"

"Just because you know some smart-assy big words doesn't mean that you are always in the right!"

"No, that comes with being smarter than you!"

"What is that ruckus?" Suddenly thundered through Donatello's laboratory.

Both turtles turned their attention towards the door at once. There he stood: Splinter - small, round and hairy and yet wielding authority.

Leonardo recovered first. His dark eyes started to shine with mischief.

"Oh, nothing, Dad," he waved dismissively. "I just asked Donnie to accompany us to the zoo. But he wants to stay here and try this experiment again. You know, the one that so far always ended with tiny explosions."

Don's face snapped to his brother, a murderous expression on his face. But the slider only smiled smugly, winking at the turtle in purple.

As expected Splinter did not like the thought of his movie night being interrupted by noise and/or destruction and he decided: "No! Purple, you go with your brothers, for...ehm...bonding. Yes, that's good. I mean, that's important. Family bonding."

His voice and facial expression left no room for resistance and Donnie was beaten. His Saturday night schedule decided by another. Frustrated he watched his father leave.

"This could have been much easier, bro." Leonardo said smugly. "I really didn't want to... _rat you out_!"

Donatello did not react. The terrible pun was nothing he would grace with a comment and he would not give Leo the satisfaction of whining over his defeat. So he silently followed the blue-masked turtle to the lair's center.

Staring at the back of his brother's head, he could not help wondering how it had come to this. That aversion, the distance, the lack of empathy between them. As younger kids Leo and he had been so close. Sharing the middle child's burden of never being in charge like the oldest and never being pampered as the youngest, they had confided in each other. Together they'd at night explore the museum that Don had been curious about but on his own would have lacked the courage to enter. Together they'd sneak out to see the Lou Jitsu night at the movie theater, something Leonardo on his own could not have planned. A lot of Don's second thoughts had been chased away by Leo just pushing the button. Leo's nightmares had stopped thanks to Don's rational explanation of nightly noises and scary shadows. Complementing each other, trusting each other and getting each other through.

But something was broken.

Donatello could not say when it had happened. It was not sudden. Their strong bond had crumbled slowly over time.

_Leo attacks his shell during training. It hurts badly, but not as badly as his casual tone as he later explains: "An enemy will exploit your weaknesses and use them in a real fight, too. Sorry, bro, but I won, fair or not."_

A little fissure.

"_Okay, okay, she saw us. But she did not totally lose it. There is a chance she will not call the police, the FBI or channel 6 if we make her see that we are good guys. I will talk to her and..."_

_Laughter interrupts him._

"_Sorry, dude! But I'll talk to her. Your definition of 'charming' might turn her suicidal!"_

A small crack.

"_Good idea, that artificial shell. Let's hope it does not explode while in use like your other stuff. You'd be...wait for it...shell-shocked."_

Another tiny scratch.

And today? After all this little ripping, tearing and cracking, there was not much left and it rarely showed. Probably just nostalgia mimicking affection.

When they arrived at the center of the lair, Michelangelo and Raphael smiled at them and Leo put an arm around Don.

"Look who decided to come along after all." The intonation of Leonardo's words was teasing and undoubtedly meant to remind the softshell of his unsuccessful attempt to escape this excursion.

Inwardly Donatello sighed, carefully glancing at Leonardo.

The cool rebel and the nerdy scientist. Too different in character and in priorities. Most likely their bond had run on borrowed time all along.

But he still missed it.


	2. Chapter 2

How did that always happen? The zoo was boring, yes. There was nothing on the description signs in front of the cages that Donatello did not yet know (not that it kept Raphael from reading it out loud), but at least the evening was nice, the animals were quiet and the snack automats were incredible easy to open.

Yes, that was an hour ago. But of course SOMEONE had to suggest getting pizza and of course SOMEONE knew a shortcut and of course that shortcut had led them right into trouble. Now they were fighting Meatsweats plus an army of mutant ants that the crazy pig man somehow had learnt to control. Whether he had killed Hypno or eaten any other mutant with mind controlling powers, Donatello did neither know nor care. Meatsweats definitely used the insects like puppets sending them at the turtles as his personal army. That was smart but Donnie was smarter. Ignoring the calls of his brothers the genius turtle swung himself on the roof to jump back down on the building's other side. A smoke bomb and a run through the cooking department later, Donatello left the supermarket (and its coughing confused employee) and returned to the fighting scene.

His brothers had been backed against the wall by the ants, with Meatsweats grinning at the sidelines. But Don was determined to wipe this grin out of this ugly face.

When the softshell came down from the roof and landed between the ants, a confused look replaced the grin. When the bottles shattered between the insects, it was too late. Meatsweats chitin armored army scuttled.

"What...How...Why?" His brothers' confused voices mixed, echoing in the alley.

"Vinegar!" Donatello spoke, while whirling around to look at them like a circus director addressing his audience. "Their non-mutated kind hate the odor of it so I figured they would, too. Even moreso with possibly heightened senses."

"Not bad, Donnie!" Raph commended with a broad smile. But soon his face fell in horror and before Don had the chance to ask what was wrong, he felt an atrocious pain rushing through his upper leg and was slammed against the cold alley wall, his temple colliding with the bricks. Looking up with a groan he saw the outraged Meatsweats run towards him, the giant hammer bloody. His vision blurred by pain he also spotted Raphael and Mikey running towards them but it was clear that they wouldn't reach them before the pig mutant's weapon would collide with Donnie's head. On the bright side he felt his consciousness slip away from the throbbing pain in his leg and forehead so that he would not even feel the final hit. In fact he was so dizzy that he was sure to only imagine being grabbed by the shoulder and whisked away before merciful darkness surrounded him.

He woke up to his head buzzing. No, something else was buzzing. It was some sort of machine. But what? And someone was talking. But who? The voice sounded familiar though.

Confused Donatello let his eyes wander around, looking for the source of the noises. To his surprise he was in his own laboratory, lying on the couch his brothers had gifted to him for his last birthday. His wounded leg was wrapped up neatly and an icepack was drapped along his forehead. Turning his gaze to his workbench, he spotted Leonardo, his phone in his left hand, the right struggling with the coffee machine.

"You keep saying it can make tea as well, Raph, but it doesn't." He snarled into the phone.

"Please don't break it." Don said dryly.

Immediately Leo spun around, a smile spreading across his face.

"He's awake!" He all but yelled into the phone. "Just get your butts here."

With remarkable speed his blue-masked brother suddenly sat by his side, a bottle of water and some painkillers in his hand.

With a curt "Thank you" Don took them.

"You're welcome." Leo smiled. "How are you feeling, headache aside?"

"Confused. Disoriented." The tech wizard admitted. "Leo, what happened?"

"What do you remember?"

"Meatsweats must have hitten my leg and I stumbled against the brick wall, hitting my head." Donatello recalled, brows furrowed in concentration."I saw him coming at me with that hammer and... I think I passed out then."

Leonardo nodded.

"Hmm, yes. When I saw him swing that huge hammer at you..." The slider paused for a second, swallowed and then cleared his throat to continue: "I saw I couldn't be there in time."

"But my head is still attached to my body and not left as a bloody mess on an alley wall."

"Thanks for that image, bro." Leonardo said with a disgusted expression before explaining. "I created a portal to get to you and - after grabbing you - one to the lair."

Donnie started laughing but as he saw Leonardo's face, wearing a mixture of anger and hurt, he asked: "Wait! You're serious?"

"Yes, Donatello!" The turtle in blue growled, his arms crossed defensively. "Thanks for believing in me."

"Oh, come on, Leo, cut the sarcasm!" Don retorted, rolling his eyes. "Two portals? Each created within seconds? AND leading to the planned destination? You have to admit that I have the right to be surprised."

"Yeah, well, I guess..." Leonardo shrugged, uncrossing his arms, and grinned. "It was pretty amazing."

"But how?" The genius wanted to know. "Usually if you are trying to use the portal magic, the best we can hope for to happen is nothing..."

"Very funny, bro." The slider grumbled. "But seriously? I don't know. I saw you lying there, helpless and about die. I just opened the portals. I didn't think about it."

"If not thinking about it did the trick, you'd never fail." Donatello chuckled.

The next moment the water bottle was slapped out of his hands and crashed shattering against Shelldon who immediately activated himself to clean up the mess.

"What wrong with you, Leo?" Donatello raised an eyebrow and tilted his head.

"Me?!" Leo yelled. "What is wrong with me?! What is wrong with you? THAT would be a good question!"

"What?"

"Half an hour ago I saved your life!" The slider exclaimed. "And you're already back to being a jerk again!"

"Without you and your stupid Splinter trick, my life wouldn't even have been in danger!" Donnie sat up, getting in Leo's face. "I would have been in my lab, save and sound!"

"Well, excuse me, that I want to spend time with my brother!"

"Pfff," Donatello made contemptuously. "You just didn't want to go by foot or ride the subway."

"What?"

"You wanted your lazy ass carried to the zoo with the shellraiser. Hence your 'longing' for my company!"

Leonard raised an eye ridge and snorted.

"We could have taken the shellraiser if you'd have stayed here!"

"But maybe I wouldn't have allowed it."

"Maybe we wouldn't have cared and taken it anyway."

"I wouldn't have been there to operate it."

"Oh, please! We can operate the shellraiser just fine without you!"

"But could you have repaired it if something went wrong?"

"Would we have thought about that?"

"I guess you have a point there."

"Ha!" Leonardo exclaimed, only to add a second later:"Wait..."

Donatello scoffed. On wobbly legs he got up to walk over to the coffee machine.

"Maybe you just wanted to make sure I was around to do my ‚nerd stuff' if needed." He speculated while making coffee.

"Or maybe I just wanted my brother to be around!"

"Yeah, sure." The turtle in purple chuckled without humor. "I am lucky that I built cool stuff. Else I'd be too nerdy to bare."

"What? Who says that?"

"You!" Donatello answered, struggling to keep his emotions in check.

"When have I ever..."

"1 year, 7 month and 3 days ago." The tech wizard interrupted. "Splinter had just commended me for knowing an answer in the quiz show he was watching. Not that my joy lasted long thanks to your comment."

"I remember..." Leonardo admitted before starting to stutter: "B...but that was only because you had laughed at me for giving the wrong answer at the question before. You always do that! Make me feel stupid!"

"Oh, please!" Donnie scoffed while returning to his seat with the coffee. "That was just a joke. Since we were kids you make me feel weak. Like when we all fell from that swing I made. Because of my shell I was the only one hurting. And you had nothing better to do than to make your own little commedia dell'arte with imitations of my cries of pain."

"Well, since we are sharing lovely memories how about you recall that ealier that day you laughed at me when we practiced how to read." Leonardo bit back. "I just stumbled over a few hard words and you made a rap song based on my stuttering!"

"That was because you laughed at me when I fell off my skateboard!"

"I only laughed because shortly before you said if bad jokes were rocks I'd be the Himalaya! And then you made fun of me when I didn't get that."

"Maybe, but that was only a payback for..."

Donatello halted midsentence. There was something in his brother's expression that was hauntingly familiar. At first he could not put his finger on it. But then he recognized it as the reflection of his own fear and pain. Fear of not being good enough and pain of recognizing that it was true. And again he wondered...

"What happened?" Leonardo suddenly asked the question that haunted Donatello, too. "I don't know." The genius answered, not even bothering to ask his brother to elaborate. He knew what he meant.

"I know I can be a jerk," Leo said. "But you can be, too. I didn't really think much about it until we met Draxum."

"Draxum?" Donnie asked confused. "What has he got to do with it?"

"He almost killed us." The turtle in blue simply stated. "Kinda made me realize that we don't have forever."

Raising his eyebrows in surprise, Donatello took in his brother. These were thoughts he had not expected the easy-going slider to have. But he understood what Leonardo was going at. He let him continue.

"That does not mean that I expect the worst to happen." Leo said. "But if it does..."

He bit his trembling lip. Donatello had not seen his blue-banded brother so vulnerable for years. He wondered if he ever had.

"Leo..." He started but was interrupted.

"And with you I think the risk of the worst to happen is lower." Leo continued, appearing to be caught in his thoughts. "Just remember our first fight against sheephead. You were the only one to at least land a blow. You seemed to have a run until Mikey lost control over his weapon and bumped into you. So, you were right. It was not just your company I needed. I feel like Raph and Mikey are safer, too, when you are around. We need you. I need you."

"To feel safe?" Donatello asked.

"To feel like myself." The slider said quietly. "I know in the last years we grew apart. But we belong together, don't we? We're brothers!"

"Of course we are, but that doesn't change..." Donnie started once more, this time being stopped by a look from Leonardo.

After a few seconds of silence, the blue-masked turtle repeated whispering and with a pointed look: "I know I can be a jerk, but you can be, too."

Donatello frowned. That was it, wasn't it? They both feared to be insufficient and hurt when they felt like they were. And when they were hurting, they both lashed out.

Letting images from their shared past slide before his mind's eye, the genius saw a huge collection of tit for tat. Sure, his memory was better than Leonardo's and if he wanted he could probably come up with something Leo had done wrong to justify any wrong Don himself had done while Leonardo's cognitive performance would sooner or later fail him.

Maybe that would matter if this was about being right. But it did not matter since this was about being brothers.

"We cannot change what happened." Donatello finally said before he hesitantly admitted: "But I miss being close to you, too."

"You do?" Leo asked.

"I do." Donatello nodded. "But instead of being happy when you wanted me around, I tortured myself by telling me you wanted my tech around instead."

"I could have been a bit less... obnoxious while showing my affection." The slider sheepishly acknowledged.

"No kidding!" The softshell exclaimed before being able to stop himself.

At first Leo glared at him but then he laughed.

"I deserved that, I guess." He finally said. "But whenever I made fun of your ‚nerdiness' I was just being jealous. Well, not always. Sometimes you are just so annoying that I am making fun of you to make fun of you. But I know I can count on you."

"Admittedly, I am never jealous of you for making bad puns." Don deadpanned. "But however annoying they may be, they are like a little piece of home when we are out there. I feel... less vulnerable hearing you joke around in a fight."

"That leaves us where?"

"We both try to be less of a jerk towards each other," the softshell suggested. "And try not to see the worst in whatever the other does or says?"

"Sounds doable." Leo shrugged.

"Alright!"

For a moment they sat on the couch in silence. What was there to say? They probably had had their most meaningful conversation in years. Anything else would sound trivial in comparison. And still after a few minutes a grin spread across Leonardo's face.

He raised his hand, made a fist and offered it to Donatello.

"Disaster Twins?" He spoke in a questioning tone.

"Leo, I must have told you close to a million times that we are not really twins. Just because we are the same a..."

"Disaster Twins?" Leo repeated unfazed with the same grin.

"We're not even the same species of turtle! We..."

"Disaster Twins?" Still smirking, the slider wiggled his fist around a little, holding his brother's exasperated gaze.

Finally Donatello sighed, fist-bumped Leonardo and smiled lightly:

"Disaster Twins!"

The End


End file.
